The Secret to Business Success
And look at this, did you see what I did there to get you to read this sentence?
If you missed the headline and first line of this chapter go back and read the previous section.
There is a quote I heard that really explains the secret to business success. Most people will read this but fail to extract the lesson here.
“Language controls discussions,
Discussions create relationships,
Relationships determine business”
I sucked at conversations when I was a teenager. I was so shy I was scared of my own shadow. Let me explain how bad it was.
In Mt Gravatt, Queensland, Australia I started an Internet cafe called “ChilLan” with my brother. As excited as we were that we were the owners of a business it scared the crap out of me, and here’s why.
When people walked into the cafe I would be sitting behind the counter. I’d stand up and say “Hello, how can I help you”. While looking nervously into the center of their forehead because I couldn’t look them in the eye.
What’s the typical response you give someone when you walk into a shop and they ask “can I help you?” That’s right, most people would respond with “just-looking”. This resulted in my looking down at my keyboard behind the counter waiting for them to tell me their choice. They would look over our limited menu of internet access, pool table time, or our limited coffee menu. Then they would proceed to turn around and walk out the door.
There is a lot to unpack here in less than 60 seconds of conversation. However, it took six months of these costly interactions for me to realize that something has to change. That something is me.
I went through so much transformation and change in my confidence. That was when I reconnected with a girlfriend who knew me at the time 3 years later. I walked past her in the airport and you didn’t even recognize me. What was strange was that she was at the airport waiting to pick me up!
What’s the lesson here?
My failure to control my language resulted in my failing to create a relationship with the guests who walked into my coffee shop. What situations have you failed to control your language?
Your ability to master language determines your ability to control discussions. When you can control the discussion you can create a relationship. I failed to realize that the question I was asking was causing an automated response from people who walked into my coffee shop. It wasn’t until I asked myself the question “what would I have to say to get a different response?”
This is something you may want to remember. Quality questions create a quality life. One of the best things you can do to instantly transform your results is to change the questions and conversations you are having with yourself. When you become aware of the negative conversations that you constantly have with yourself you can start to reprogram your belief patterns.
One of the best techniques I learned about was personality styles. Understanding my personality style has allowed me to understand my personality traits. The traits that made me happy, and the traits that annoyed others.
The problem is that most people are ignorant of their personality style. The same person will constantly complain about everyone else or play the victim card without realizing there are four core personality styles.
I’m going to share the secrets of identifying these four different personalities and give you a framework in which to use them in your everyday life. Most important of all you’ll discover how quality discussions happen on the listener’s terms and not yours.
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