Why This Book?
I used to hate Christmas.
Truly, hate with a passion the Christmas time of year. To the point that I refused to buy presents for my family.
I didn’t want to buy presents because I usually couldn’t afford them. This left me feeling embarrassed, frustrated and depressed each December.
Do you notice the “belief” here? Don’t worry I’ll explain that further later. Just remember this point of the story for later in the book.
Let me give you some context here.
I was just experiencing my third failed business venture. That’s right, three in a row over the course of 5 years. The fifth year in a row of living on minimum wage as an “Entrepreneur” who was hustling to become the next Steve Jobs. I was in debt, had no money, and felt as though I had no friends. What’s worse was my wife had to find a job just so we could pay the bills.
This started my quest to learn from my mistakes and understand what I was missing.
I was following all the “self-help” methods trying to manifest success, and wealth into my life. Little did I know that my subconscious was silently sabotaging my success.
Have you ever felt like this?
What I didn’t realize is that I had become people illiterate. I was unable to see people’s true intentions. I only focused on the good intentions and the big picture I failed to understand the details. I thought someone else would handle that and take care of it for me because they wanted to be part of something awesome.
We live in a world where people crave connection, yet we have become people illiterate.
We are illiterate in the ways of how to authentically connect with each other in conversation.
We are illiterate in how to read body language to understand true intentions, desires, and emotions. This results in misunderstanding our own “gut feelings”.
We are illiterate in how to understand linguistic patterns because we aren’t listening to what is being said. We’re more focused on trying to get our point across that we missed the hidden meaning in the words used.
We are illiterate in our vocabulary. The average person in the USA reads at grade 6 level. A grade 6 child is 11 years old for reference. Our lack of words to explain emotion and feelings causes communication breakdowns.
Our failure to authentically connect with others has created a lonely world, where people are failing to get their core needs satisfied. This leaves us on the hamster wheel of chasing instant gratification in the hopes it will satisfy our needs of belonging to a tribe.
I can remember making many new year’s resolutions using these words. “I’ve got to do whatever it takes to make sure I don’t feel alone and aren’t broken by the end of next year. This is never going to happen to me again.”
Notice the beliefs and patterns in these words. I’ll explain that more later. Just take a mental note.
The goal of this book is to show you how to hack our animal brains.
Allowing you to master persuasion, influence, trust, and authority. Providing you with the tools to read people like a book. You will have x-ray vision detecting non-verbal body language triggers and linguistic “spoken word” cues like seeing a billboard on the side of the road.
Communication, persuasion (manipulation), and status are all a game. Yet, most of us fail to understand the rules of the game. Resulting in communication breakdowns and creating “beliefs” aka “human programming” that keeps us stuck on the hamster wheel of life.
Do you know people who are on a relationship hamster wheel? You know the ones that experience that relationship rollercoaster of love, passion, and excitement followed by distrust, hate, and anger. We all deal with this at times personally, or professionally.
I know I’ve been on this hamster wheel with different personal and business partnerships. After my third failed business venture I took a minute to assess why this was happening to me. It was then I realized that I was seeking a specific type of personality to partner with, even though this personality type created conflict within me. There would be a few months of “this is awesome, we’re going to conquer the world!”
Then communication breakdowns would start to occur. The wheels would start to fall off the bus and the reality of the business would set in. We would miss performance milestones and this feeds the downward death spiral. All because of miscommunication and failure to understand how our personality types impact the action and style of action we take.
This would leave me asking the big question of how did I make the same mistake again?
My Dad told me that it’s only a mistake if you don’t learn the lesson from your actions. I was committed to learning the lessons from my business failures so I didn’t repeat the same mistakes again.
You will discover in this book that all communication breakdowns are a result of failing to detect non-verbal or verbal cues. When you realize that you’ll replay every conversation in your mind and see all the things you previously missed in the heat of the moment.
The body is always communicating our true desires, intentions, and truth. The problem is it’s speaking the primitive animal language that we’ve long forgotten and replaced with emojis.
This book will give you the tools to hack people and get what you want. It’s broken into three categories.
The Animal Brain.
In each section of the book, I’ve tried to summarize the best research and real-world methods that produce results. You won’t find boring theories in this book that you can’t implement. Everything in this book is focused on implementation. Answering the questions: how do I use it in my life right now? and how can I get closer to my goal?
That requires you to answer these two questions right now. By doing so you will frame the application context for every exercise in this book.
I’ve used the methods in this book to transform from a shy person that was scared to say hello to another person to someone that now travels the world, owns several successful companies, and designs their life on my own terms. I know that you won’t have the same goals and desires that I do. But I do know that you have your own goals, desires, and dreams. To which I want to help you achieve.
Thanks for joining me on this journey. I look forward to getting to know you. Let me know how I can help you achieve your goals.