Hacking People: The manual for hacking people to get what you want

Hacking People

The manual for hacking people to get what you want.

If only people came with a manual, communication, influence and happiness would be easier.

In this chapter, I’m going to give you the closest thing I have found to the manual for hacking people. You can use this to optimize your communication and maximize your influence and persuasion. It’s something that you can rapidly implement into your life right now. It’s like being able to see people with x-ray glasses and predicting with high accuracy how they will respond to certain situations.

Here is my disclaimer. Behavioral context is important. What I mean is what’s the context or frame you are assessing people. Is it at the gym, on the bus, at work, on zoom, out with friends, or at home with family?

What are the different types of stress that could be impacting the person at this time? You’ll soon come to realize that if a person is feeling embarrassed or dealing with something it can transform their personality and they may act like an alter ego.

Behavior either body language or linguistic is not static, it’s dynamic. Many people make the mistake of classifying people based on one assessment. Don’t do this. Always validate your assumptions and build a profile on people based on their context.

You’ll also discover that personality can be 3 layers deep. Which have been defined as:

  1. Our mask.
  2. Our core self.
  3. Our mirror.

Our Mask

This is the public-facing mask we wear to deal with the world. People can be wearing more than one mask based on the situation. Remember that all people are wearing masks, and all people pretend that they are not wearing a mask.

You can think of these masks as the different identities or egos we wear to deal with life. We created these masks based on our childhood experiences with the goal of keeping us safe.

That’s why the research shows that most adults are bigger versions of their 7-year-old child. Our beliefs get locked in as a child and these beliefs become the program that runs our life.

Yes, your life to this point either good or bad has been controlled by your childhood beliefs. The good news is that you can reset your beliefs and reprogram your entire life. Most people don’t know this is an option, but because you are reading this book you will discover the Personality by Design method.

Our Core Self

This is who we are at rest. Who are we, and how do we act when we think no one is watching?

Our core self is our true goals, desires, and wants. Think about that for a minute. After being at a social event for work and when you get home are you exhausted or energized?

How does your emotion and energy change if the event is a social event with friends rather than a work event?

This is why when using any type of personality profiling method we need to remember there are two types of personality styles that make us. A dominant personality and a secondary personality. I say “secondary” rather than “submissive” because it’s contextually relevant. Submissive makes the assumption that it will always be second or weaker. This is not the case when dealing with people.

Remember that when stressors are at play it changes our behavioral response. You can think of this as your alter ego or personality coming to protect you in a time of stress.

Our Mirror

Our mirror is who we are trying to model or mirror for behaviors. This could be the pack alpha in that situation. Or it could be a personality we have designed based on traits we are modeling from others we like for that situation.

You’ll discover this when using our Sales Insights tool. We can analyze language from a conversation to determine who is influencing who in the conversation. This becomes important in a sales conversation to determine if you have influence over the other person. Because when it comes time to close you will win the deal, or be presented with objections that kill the deal. All of this is hidden in the linguistic patterns of the words we use, and our non-verbal body language. This is what the Sales Insight tool analyzes for you automatically within minutes of finishing any sales call.

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