Now let’s talk a little bit more about confidence. And I’m going to break that down a little bit.
One of the things you want to be aware of is when you see someone being what you call a “bitch” or a “dick”, it’s most likely a defense mechanism. Because they’re trying to, at that point in time, exude strength. They’re trying to be bigger than they are. They’re not collapsing. They’re actually showing
strength. We call that as part of the pendulum, posturing.
If you’re posturing big, it’s usually based on fear. It’s a security mechanism that they’re implementing to protect themselves. And remember that confidence is really a skill, not a trait. It’s a
skill you develop, the skill you work on to get more and more confident.
Approaching people would make me sick. I was so shy and nervous that I would do anything not to talk to someone I didn’t now. I owned the identity of an introvert and would wear it with pride. I
would procrastinate sharing my ideas and work with the world.
Getting feedback terrified me at the time.
Therefore situations that required me to be confident resulted in my collapsing and completely failing to meet my goals. This was true for my first consulting company I created. I was so scared to
speak to a lead that I didn’t call them. Ask for money resulted in my collapsing on price that I often worked for free and hated it!
Awareness of the Confidence Pendulum allowed me to change my results. At first I would overcompensate for collapsing and posture like crazy. You’ll notice this people who are all talk and little action.
If you haven’t listened to the Instant Hypnosis audio with these book resources I’d highly recommend you listen to it. If you want to reset your confidence instantly. You can get access to that here: behavior.so/resources
What I had to find was balance. This is where I’m not collapsing or posturing but experiencing a happy medium.
Please post your comments and ideas below. The more you share your ideas and the insights you learned from this book, the faster you will master it.