Behaviors to Watch


You’re always looking for a change in a person’s baseline. Remember context is king, and your ability to detect change allows you to master persuasion.

Questions you want to ask when you notice a change in body lan
guage or communication style are:

  • Why did these change?
  • What happened?
  • What were we talking about?
  • Which caused that behavior to happen?

The body always tells a story. The body does not always match the words that are coming out of someone’s mouth. The body is processing the subconscious feelings, the emotions, and that uncon-
scious intent. And that’s what you want to be leveraging and using.

This is also instinctive for all humans from every culture. There are cultural differences but with the behaviors, I’m sharing with you now you don’t really have to worry about any of those cultural
differences because it exists pretty much within everybody. This works for online sales, one-on-one sales or groups sales.

Do you have a person’s attention?

Most people don’t realize there is an easy way to tell if you have someone’s focus and attention. This is really important if you want more persuasion and influence in your conversations. Pay atten-
tion to a person’s blink rate. What you need to remember is, it’s very simple. Blink rate equals focus, watching somebody’s blink rate tells you if you’ve captivated their focus. If somebody is
blinking fast, you no longer have captivated their focus.

But blink rate equals focus. What you’re trying to do is slow people’s blink rate down. The slower the blink rate the more engaged people are. If you’re speaking to a crowd and you’re giving a
presentation, what you want to be doing is be aware of the crowds blink rate. Pick four or five people in the crowd. As they say, you pick the four to five people at different locations in the crowd,
and then the whole crowd feels like you’re talking to them, right?

That’s the technique. If you haven’t done it before, even when you’re on Zoom, pick a handful of people because you can’t necessarily focus on all, and focusing on everyone becomes overwhelming.

Sometimes you can only put 20 people on the screen, depending on what device you’re using. But what you want to do is choose a few people and then looking at their blink rate. Are they slow?

That means they’re engaged with you. They’re focused on what you’re doing and they’re captivated and interested. If their blink rate is fast, they’re blinking quickly or starting to get fast it means what you’re talking about is boring them.

What you want to do is be captivating and balanced. Balancing their focus continuously. This is the bonus one, blink rate, and focus is phenomenal.

  • Just look how often they are blinking?
  • Are they blinking fast?
  • Are they blinking slow?

You’re not trying to count their blink rate. Don’t sit down to try and count their blink rate. Just look at them and go, are they blinking fast? Are they blinking slow? That means they’re focused on that conversation and listening intently. If you’re in Starbucks, or in a coffee shop, or at a restaurant.

Just start looking at people and being aware of the people around you. Look at other people in your house watching TV. Look if they’re blinking fast. You’ll notice this as soon as they’re watching
the TV and they start to blink faster. Usually what happens is, they go to their phone and they look down on the phone and they’re trying to get engaged on their phone, right?

And then what you’ll notice is as they’re scrolling down their blink rate will get faster and then as soon as they get uninterested in the phone, they’ll look back up and they’ll try and get interested
back in the TV. It’s this hamster wheel people get on with focus.

And remember If you can captivate in lead focus you can control and influence others. Without this, everything falls apart.

Understanding Lip Compression

Lip compression is the folding back of the lip. The top or bottom lip doesn’t matter depending on what you’re doing. If you’re talking to somebody and you mention the price for example and the person you’re speaking with folds their lip. That means they’ve got a withheld opinion. Or they’re going to conceal their objection that they’re not saying they may have a price objection.

What you need to do is note that and come back to it naturally in the conversation. It’s also where you could ask probing questions to understand what’s going on for them.

Inside the 5X Sales Coaching we provide you various questions that you can use in any conversation to authentically extract information. Learn more about how we can help you improve your sales conversations within 90 days at

For example you could transition to something like “there’s other people we talked to that want to know about payment plans or funding options would something like that be of interest to you?”

This is certainly not an indicator to drop the price. You never want to collapse on price. That’s a very weak sales and marketing strategy. What you want to be doing is understanding what the objection is and address. The average salesperson fails to ask the right behavioral intelligence questions to extract the real emotions behind a statement.

Understanding Shoulder Shrug

This is really, really powerful. The shoulders are very important in all of our communication and body language in general. And the shoulders usually come up when we’re fearful and they’re pro-
tecting our neck. I’m not talking about the double shoulder raise.

I’m not talking about this at all. What I’m talking about is the shoulders are trying to come up to protect your neck. If you’re getting attacked by somebody, if you’re going to get hit by something, your instant reaction is to protect your neck, protect your blood vessels in your neck. You also do that when you’re struggling for submission or an apology or lack of information. The double shoulder shrug, I don’t know what’s going on.

What I’m talking about is the single shoulder shrug. It could be either shoulder, it really doesn’t matter. What I’m asking you to be focused on paying attention to one shoulder. And if one shoulder comes up, it could come up quickly. It could come up slowly. But it could just move just slightly on either one of them. If this is my baseline and one of them just comes up a little bit. What it means is a lack of confidence or little faith in the statement they are making.

Let me put this in context. You’re closing and you say “hey, when can I expect that contract to come back signed?” They may say “…what about tomorrow” but you notice the single shoulder pop on

The body disagreeing with their statement. Their body is saying nope, that’s not gonna happen. But you’ve asked them for a date and time to close. And as a result, they’re saying one thing that’s
out of alignment with their intentions. Most of the time because there’s little faith, little confidence.
What you may have missed is that there’s another decision-maker that they got to run this by. They’ve got to get approval. Or what they’re hoping to do is get started next week. Now you need to
ask probing questions to extract their true intentions.

When your asking these questions you want to follow the Behavioral Intelligence framework of Clarify, Discuss and Defuse. You can gain access to this scripts as part of the 5X Sales Coaching we
provide you various questions that you can use in any conversation to authentically extract information. Learn more about how we can help you improve your sales conversations within 90 days at

Video conferencing is fantastic because we can see these body language triggers, which we miss if it’s just a phone conversation.

When your on the phone you need to be listening to tonality and the words used. But when we’re on video, we can’t hide a shoulder shrug. Remember the context of the shoulder shrug is important.
They have little faith in what they’re saying. Or they have a lack of confidence in what we’re saying.

Understanding Object Insert

Object insertion, it could be a pen, it could be a finger, could be their hair. But at the end of the day, if somebody you’re talking to in a sales presentation, inserts something into their mouth, it
means I need reassurance right now.

If I’m sitting here and something has been inserted onto the lips heading towards the teeth. That’s insertion. What you want to be aware of is I need reassurance. I’m not feeling confident. I’m not
feeling safe. I’m not feeling secure. Think of how that impacts your sales and your close. What do you think’s going to happen?

  • Do you think the close is going to go well?
  • Do you think there’s going to be buyer remorse?
  • Do you think I’m going to be having this buyer’s remorsehamster wheel that’s going on?

What you’re watching for is something being inserted, fingers, pen, pencil, this is different from hushing. Remember, object insertion is a need for reassurance. And that means you have to go in now to reassure that person. “Look, you might be worried about that. This is a big decision. But the reality is I was talking to Suzy the other day and Suzy was in a similar position to you, blah, blah, blah.” Now you’ve got social confirmation, you got social status, you can bring all that and reassure them through the story. But at the end of the day, they need assurance.

If you can detect these three things, your sales conversations and closing conversations will dramatically change.

  • Lip compression means what? Lip compression means concealed objections or withheld opinions.
  • You got a single shoulder shrug. What we’re going for is a single shoulder shrug. Is lack of confidence, lack of faith. If you’re asking somebody, how was the day? It was okay. It was great. I love it. Alarm bells should ring in your head.

You’ll be like that Ben guy told me if I see that single-shoulder shrug it is a lack of confidence, lack of faith in that statement they’re making. As a result, it’s an indicator for
asking more questions.

  • Object insertion, which means they need reassurance. You have to reassure them that what they’re doing is okay.

Understanding Hushing


Hushing works when what we’re actually doing is we’re fighting ourselves on wanting to stay quiet. And what we’re doing here is we’re covering the mouth. We’re doing something that’s resulting
in us covering the mouth. It does indicate potential deception because what they’re doing is they’re fighting an urge to speak.

There’s an internal stressor going on with them. And they’re having to keep their mouths shut. And then you’ll see some people will talk through internal stress, boom, red flag going off. That’s a big red flag. That’s what you want to be aware of. These behaviors can totally, totally transform your life. And as you can see, they’re super simple. They’re simple and basic but have a lot of power to them.

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